Cada dia, cada vez...

For some reason today I found myself thinking about the first time I met my husband Javier and all the stuff we have experienced together since then. I remember the first time I looked into his eyes, I thought he was so cute but arrogant. He barely looked at me and went to take his seat behind me. Later on we ended up having lunch in the breakroom at the same time and we hit it off great as friends. We were both in relationships so there was no hanky panky at that time. I still could fantasize though...and looking at his cute butt in those dockers and the sexy way he walked to the copier was almost too much for a virginal girl like myself to handle. Damn he was so fiiiine and still is but don't tell him that because he will turn pink and have this big ass grin on his face. I love his eyes, the way they darken when he is really into what I am saying to him or comtemplating an idea he has. I love his pitch black hair that is so wavy and curly at times and he hates it himself but I love to tug at it. When he had it longer I loved to braid it for him after he took a shower. His mouth is so soft and his lips are incredibly kissable he is always letting me have a little taste before he goes to work and when he sees me later in the day. I love him so much.I love who he is on the inside, how much he cares about me and shows interest in what is going on in my mind. I love how he is with fabianna and the way he kisses my belly and rubs it as if he is saying hello to Larissa. Javier is incredible in so many ways and has been nothing but a great husband and father. I am so happy that he chose me to be his wife.

The baby just went to sleep about 15 min ago. I am sooo tired and just plain exhausted but I can't sleep. I am actually thinking about washing my hair at this hour. It is friday nite so javier isn't here. He is out with a group of friends at the wing cafe "living it up" no doubt.( can I say that?) Anyways, he was feeling bad about going out and leaving me here but I am use to being home alone. I am getting tired of not having any fun of my own though. Being pregnant two years in a row kind of hinders you from doing too much of anything. Even after I have this baby I am still going to be kind of caught up in that role of mommy to newborn which I actually look forward to. I guess I am saying that I thought my life would change so much after I have this baby but it really won't I will just be home with two babies instead of one. That's okay though because I don't really have the desire to go out all the time. It is just sometimes I wish I had more going for myself. Oh well the baby just woke up so gotta go....

Today will probably prove to be uneventful as well. My biggest decision yet is whether or not I should eat a real breakfast or just munch on a krispie kreme donut hubby got for me last night. Man it is hard I really want that donut. I want to go get my hair done but I know that I will most likely not do that because I am just too paranoid about dumping the baby at the last min with someone. I hate inconveniencing people. My suegra is very good about watching the baby on short notice but I feel bad about asking her all the time. She does have a life of her own and other things to do. I can't wait until I get braids again, then I won't have to get my hair done so often. I hate having to go to the salon and with me the style never last long anyway.

I am going to try really hard to get something done this morning before the baby wakes up because when she does I can forget trying to clean. I have no idea what to cook for Javier's lunch. I will try to think of something that won't be too difficult. Oh well I guess I better go now because I know the baby is going to wake up soon and then I will have missed my opportunity to do anything.

It has been forever since I updated my blog. I have been pretty busy and last time I wrote something I got in trouble with hubby so I will choose my words very carefully from now on. It is finally 2004 and I have so many resolutions that I want so much to start working on for this year. I hate how dull my life has become and so predictable. This year I want to get out more and have fun I am so tired of just being a wife and mom. Don't get me wrong, I love the fact that I have a husband and daughter but I just want to have something outside of those two relationships to call my own.

I want to find a job but it looks like I won't have much luck being hired because I am pregnant and no employer in his/her right mind would hire me now. I also want to start paying off my debts and saving money. I have made some bad financial decisions in the past mainly because I didn't understand how serious money, good credit and finances were. I have a few other resolutions but I won't go into them in detail because they are more personal to me.

Today was pretty uneventful... I just stayed home and cooked for Javier and later went to work. I keep thinking about how in a little over a month we will have a new little baby girl in the house. Javier and I have gone through so much in the two years that we have been together. Everything has been thrown at us all at once. We haven't really had a chance to stop and take it all in. I really want this year to be a good one for us though. I want us to have a better life and really get the opportunity to spend time together and time apart doing the things that we each want to do.

Oh well I guess that is all for now.....I feel really tired I will probably go to bed.